


Ava darkens the stars

by Crashit



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 15:20:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14059791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crashit/pseuds/Crashit
Summary: Ava leaves after Sara tells her she won't go on with their relationship.





	Ava darkens the stars

Ava’s chest felt like it was caving in. She pushes her hand against it, trying to fight off some of the pressure as she stumbles forward.

She hears the portal shut behind her. 

Dammit, she had opened the damn thing into the Time Bureau. She glances around eyes blurry from unshed tears and realizes she was just outside her office door. Ava opens it quickly and moves inside. Pushing it shut behind her she locks it, silences the comms and stumbles over to the chair facing the window.

Ava sinks into it and buries her face in her hands. The sobs began deep in her chest, silently shaking her shoulders. She presses her face harder into her hands, tears leaking through, and dripping off her chin.  
When she can’t feel anything anymore she drops her hands to her lap. Looking down she notices her fingers are singed from the death totem. She remembers the pain as she pulled it away from Sara’s neck. Ava would probably have to fix that later.

Sara.

Jesus Christ. Her chest seizes up again, pain lancing through her core up to her jaw.  
This pain. It’s taking her breath away.

Dammit. 

I have to get out of here, she thinks. I can’t breathe. It feels like the walls are moving towards her. She covers her face again. 

No.  
No running.

That’s an old story. I don’t do that anymore. Whatever this is I can’t run from it. I made this decision to open up. To her. This will follow me wherever I go.

But she doesn’t want me, Ava thinks.

Why.  
Why doesn’t this ever work.  
Why don’t I ever get chosen.  
Why can’t she see.  
Why can’t she feel how much I want her.  
How much I need her.

Ava sobs again, shoulders shaking. She rips her jacket off and slides out of the chair onto the floor onto her knees. She puts her hands down on the floor, grounding her. Solid.

 

I felt it.  
I know she felt it too.

I know her.  
She knows what safe feels like.  
I know how she lets go in my arms.

 

Sara wanted this.  
She’s afraid to try.

Fuck, Ava screams in her head. Sara doesn’t get to make this decision.  
She can’t just throw me aside.

Except she can. One person can decide.  
And there’s nothing the other person can do about it.

Ava lies down onto the floor, covers her head with her arms and sobs.

It’s darker in her office.  
She’s been sitting on the floor for a while now, jacket off, shirt off. Her hair is down, trailing across her bare shoulders, tank top stained with tears. Her hand aches from the totem burn.  
Eyes stinging.  
Throat raw from keeping the sobs in.  
Her chest aches, feels hollow.   
She can still feel her. She can still feel Sara.  
From the floor she can see the sky’s darkness and see stars shining thinly in the city’s light pollution. The stars used to be her salvation. The one constant that she could always find in the sky. No matter how bad any of it got, how desperate her mission or failures Ava could always find one star in the sky at night.   
Now Ava can’t stand to see the buildings around her. All the noise and bustle and commotion and business and people. It’s better here on the floor, she thinks, I can only see the stars. Except she can’t stomach any of it.

It doesn’t matter any more, she thinks. None of it matters. All the work. All the time. All the sweat and tears and bullet holes.  
Ava can’t bring herself to care. Big strong soldier. Best agent in the Bureau. Well look at me now. Broken heart takes her down.   
She closes her eyes and darkens the stars. 

Gary has tried to call a few times.   
He even came by her office, calling out to her. Ava didn’t answer. 

Finally, he knocks at the door. “Agent Sharpe? Ava?” His hand stays on the door.  
“I just wanted to let you know that Sara Lance has disappeared. The Legends don’t know where she is.”  
“You aren’t answering my calls, and you won’t open your door” he continues. “I thought maybe you should know. You should know that she’s running.”

Ava turns and looks at the door. She moves from the floor to her knees. Then she stands, unsteadily and walks quietly towards it. She places her hand roughly at the same place as his on the other side. She can feel the burns on her fingers.  
“Thank you Gary” she manages. 

“Ok,” he says. “Ava? Please get some rest. And then…..and then go find her.”

Ava drops her head, tears spilling down her cheeks, dripping off her chin. Her other hand bunches against her chest, pulling the fabric into her grip and pushing her fist in, wishing the ache away. 

“Goodnight Gary” she whispers.

“Goodnight my friend” he says.

Ava turns away from the door and opens a portal to her apartment. She walks through and goes straight to a cabinet. She pulls a glass bottle from the back and a glass from the top. Next she walks over to the chair and kicks it forward until it is close to the wall of windows. She drops heavily into the chair, puts her feet on the low windowsill and tips the bottle to her lips, taking a long pull.

Her head is resting against the back of the chair, the cool glass numbing the pain in the hand resting in her lap. She feels the air against her bare arms; she kicked off her heeled boots hours ago.   
Ava flashes back to an evening years ago, so similar. 

Damnit.

It was hotter there. She remembers the sweat on her bare arms cooled as night stole in, calming the day’s heat. She hadn’t moved from that chair for hours either. She hadn’t done much except drink, sleep and cry.   
But when it was over she got up. She pushed off the headache and the stale sweat got back into her truck and drove into town.   
When she got to the town limits she pulled out her phone and made a call.  
“Yeah, “ she said when the call was answered. “I don’t fully understand, but I’m in.”  
“Send the coordinates. I’ll be there.”  
She ended the call and tossed the phone onto the bench seat next to her. Elbow resting on the edge of the truck’s window she rested her face in her hand. A small smile crept in around her hand. 

Monday morning Gary and Agent Hunter both have messages from Director Sharpe.

The story she paints is that Mallus is a Time Bureau priority. The potential container for his presence has gone missing. It needs to be contained before Mallus breaks free. Director Sharpe is going after him.

Ava has detailed everything she needs Rip to do while she’s absent. In addition, there are a few weapons and communication devices missing from the Armory and Labs. Rip adjusts the inventories to the Director’s discretion. The motor pool is missing an SUV and two Triumph Tiger 1200 motorcycles. 

And Rip’s personal jumpship is gone. He got the notifications from Gideon late last night that someone had accessed the core.  
He didn’t think Ava knew about that. Rip didn’t think anyone knew about that. She must have figured it out when he escaped prison. That he had found a way to move around in time and space when he went after Wally.  
Rip had understood that the jumpship had to be small enough to let a time courier open up a portal wide enough to get the ship through. After all, it isn’t a time ship, just a small expeditionary space ship.  
She’s smart, that one, Rip thinks, not for the first time.   
In order to find Sara, Ava will have to pick the right moment in time, but if she does Ava will have everything she needs.

 

Agent Hunter understands. He takes care of the details. He also takes Ava’s office. He stands at the window and looks out at the sky, “God speed Ava. Go get our girl.”


End file.
